In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
