bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
