How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
