please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
