You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize