hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This baby is an asshole
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
