I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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