as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
