so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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