i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
