She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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