I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
