she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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