Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
