im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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