she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My vagina just clenched in fear
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm always down for nudity.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
