So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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