actually, I'm a sock model
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
