remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
ttyl tear gas
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
