my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
