They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
