seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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