I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
