I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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