Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
