if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
