I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
