I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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