I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
