i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
