The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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