Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
