Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
