The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
