I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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