Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
