I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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