scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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