Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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