Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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