just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
