I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
