3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Operation Purity has been aborted
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
