You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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