Only a mothe r could love this liver
People in love make me want to vomit
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
