So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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