I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
