Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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