We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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