THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
please don't ironically join a cult
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