so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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