i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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