how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
