Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
