I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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