Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
