i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
