I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
