She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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