Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
