The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
