just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
