So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
