lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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