It's just like the Real World with babies
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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